Never, Again.

As indecisive as I can be, I have been quite vehement about a few life-milestone events. So emphatic that my mantra was as follows: I will never…

The first “I will never...” entailed “get married.” With a family history of far-from-great relationships and an absent father, I was not a girl that thought of her wedding dress or knew what she wanted her wedding theme to be. Fast-forward to my mid-twenties, I meet this guy who completely overwhelmed me. Almost 13 years later, I have long digested my first “I will never” with a many a belches to compliment the chef!

After saying I do, my new hubby was ready for kids. Not I. I was born my mom’s only child but at 13, I was blessed with a thicker-than-blood older sister and an extra set of parents. In a few years to follow this included a myriad of younger siblings. I love those kids. They taught me a lot and made my heart enlarge, but I also was not sure I was up for the immense responsibility of my own children. I was too selfish. I had to break it to my hubby that at this moment in time “I never wanted kids.”

And, the I-will-never-have-kids mantra was foiled three times over with wondrous delight.

Well then, of course, triple-whammie hit when I stated, “I would never have to worry about getting cancer.”

My air of invincibly and ego trip have both been thoroughly put in their place. I now use the “I will never mantra” for useful things like:

1) I will never have a matching set of girls again (should get them by end of year taking the belly fat to make them!)

2)I will never be able to do a full boat pose in yoga class

3) And well this doozy is repeated daily – I will never win the lottery.

I figure the things that have happened to me have come from negative mantras. So if I say positive things in my negative statement, I have had 2/3rds positive outcome.

So, stay tuned I plan on having lots of charity checks to write!

And an update on my foundation is I had to change the name. I was quite bummed and my momentum put off-kilter for a bit. But I am back on the nonprofit paper-trail track again for Will Give On Foundation, Inc.

I missed June and July for my blog! Whoops! I let time slip up on me but well I am trying to it back in the groove of my life. I was disappointed in myself then I realized it was far from a catastrophe (and I should know.)

July of this year was odd for me. I remembered a year ago, my second whirlpool appeared: Chemo. It seems long ago, but then again I think my hair would be longer! (Perhaps if I stopped taking the clippers to my head, it would be!)

August has brought me my birthday! Thanks to my mom and older sister, who entertained (and contained) the Miller masses, I was able to take a two-day, birthday-weekend trip with my hubby to Savannah, Ga. We went with another couple (more chosen family - the hubby and I share a birth date also.) My swarm of siblings and extra set of parents met us for lunch on my birthday and I had an amazing dinner at Local 11 ten. A must-try restaurant if you are ever in Savannah. It has a great farm-to-table, local fare menu and the service was just as lovely as the meal. It marked my 37th birthday and our first adult-only trip in almost four years! It was well overdue and wonderful and left me with a wish for replay button on the life remote I still can’t find.

I will never enjoy life. Wink.